or something far more sinister?

One night, a Maine citizen named Marsh took to his snowmobile and vanished off the face of the earth.  
Full scale efforts to find him began and continued throughout a frigid night of 
diminishing hope.  In the morning, the man turned up with a story about being rescued 
from a damaged snowmobile (The Warden Service says it wasn't.) by teenagers whom he 
can't name and taken for safety to a location he can't remember.  He fell asleep so 
quickly that he was unable to make the simple phone call necessary to relieve anxiety and 
call off the massive hunt.

The story obviously doesn't hold water.  My wife, the cynic, thinks Marsh was just 
drunk, but that doesn't hold water either.  If he was just drunk, he would be just dead.  
Contrary to popular belief, alcohol doesn't act as antifreeze in the human body; it just 
makes you worry less about freezing to death.  So the first thing to come to mind is that 
Marsh was up to something he wasn't willing to divulge.

But there is no evidence for that.  So I must sift the facts impartially.  And they all point 
in the same direction.  Marsh was kidnapped by aliens, and had his memory erased on 
release.  He really did vanish off the face of the earth. Why?  Who knows?  The Saucer 
People have their own agenda and their own abilities. 

According to the news magazines I see at the counters of supermarkets, alien abduction is 
not an unusual occurrence.  Some people have, indeed, been victimized multiple times.  
In fact, I heard somewhere that one of them is trying to get some sort of credit for 
frequent flyer miles on flying saucers.

So before we heedlessly label this snowmobiler as an arrogant, inconsiderate pea brain 
who cared nothing about the distress he caused, the lives risked by the fellow citizens who spent 
the night in the cold searching for him, and the expense to the taxpayers of the effort, 
let's look at the facts.  It was an alien abduction; nobody could be as much an airhead as 
the alternative explanations all demand.